Category Archives: Artist Life

by victoriadelgadillo

The MexiCal Biennial presents: CALAFIA (el fin del parai­so) / Final Round

“Know then, that due east of the Indies there is an island called California, very near to the locale called the Terrestrial Paradise. It was populated by Black Indigenous women, without men among them. They possessed strong and firm bodies of ardent courage and great strength. Their island was the strongest in all the world, with steep cliffs and rocky shores. Their arms were decorated with gold, as were the harnesses of the wild beasts they tamed and rode.” Garci Rodri­guez de Montalvo, Las Sergas de Esplandián

Thus began the creative narration for Mexicali Biennial’s 2 year project called CALAFIA: Manifesting the Terrestrial Paradise. Raul Baltazar and Victoria Delgadillo’s film collaboration for this exhibit with the title of Califas was called dystopian in the press and at the University of Paris a student asked, “Is it ok to laugh while watching this film?”

In the end, the Mexicali Biennial closed the 2 years of programming and exhibits with echos between Calexico, California and Mexicali, Baja California. There, among the historical exhibits of bones and time elapsed graphs at the Institute for Cultural Research Museum in Mexicali, was an installation of all the props and costumes used in the filming of Calafia.  The Cultural Research Institute’s Director was elated.

Below are the border event offerings and locations during the closing of CALAFIA: Manifesting the Terrestrial Paradise in Calexico and Mexicali

Friday, January 17, 2020
Steppling Art Gallery, SDSU, Imperial Valley Campus
CALAFIA: Manifesting the Terrestrial Paradise. Visual Arts exhibition

Friday, January 17, 2020
Planta Libre Galería Experimental
Mexicali, Baja California MX
Films screenings, followed by Q&A

Saturday, January 18, 2020
Institute for Cultural Research Museum (IIC Museo)
Mexicali, Baja California MX
Installation and film screening of Calafia by Victoria Delgadillo and Raul P. Baltazar
Runs through February 2, 2020

Saturday, January 18, 2020
Workshop: “My face hurts from being so white”
A metaphorical intervention process of internal and external whiteness using colored t-shirts

Saturday, January 18, 2020
Tianguis del Caballito, I21 Art Space. Local I21
Mexicali, Baja California MX
A site specific solo project to connect diverse Mexicali audiences to multidisciplinary art practices.

Sunday, January 19, 2020
In front of Toyota Car Dealership, Calzada Cetys
Mexicali, Baja California MX
A billboard project

Sunday, January 19, 2020
A border fence performance
Calexico Side: Parking lot at 426 E. 1st St, Calexico, CA
Mexicali Side: Heroes de Chapultepec Park Avenida Madero, Mexicali, B.C.

Images: Courtesy of the MexiCali Biennial and the artists.

by victoriadelgadillo

Gregorio Escalante Gallery July 2017

Victoria Delgadillo’s print Bolsa de Mercado was on display during the month of July 2017 at the Gregorio Escalante Gallery (in the upstairs Salon),978 Chung King Rd, Los Angeles, CA 90012. The gallery space had an impressive array of artists and exhibits!

NOTE: Due to the passing of Greg Escalante on 9/8/17, The Gregorio Escalante Gallery was permanently closed in 2017. Read more about the importance of Greg Escalante’s work.

by victoriadelgadillo

“The Space” Regeneracion

An historical overview of Regeneracion art space (1992ish -2000) was presented for the Getty initiative Pacific Standard Time at The San Diego Museum (May 2, 2015).  Attendees commented on the interesting history of this collective and their international work in social justice–how exciting it was to hear of events of such scale occurring in a seemingly quiet area of Los Angeles.

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“Caught Between a Whore and an Angel” the first women’s exhibit at Regeneracion was produced by Patricia Valencia, Aida Salazar, Elizabeth Delgadillo Merfeld and Victoria Delgadillo in 1996. The idea to have a women’s show at Regeneracion was Patricia Valencia’s — inspired by Sub-comandande Ramona, Cecilia Rodriguez and the other Zapatista women in Chiapas coming to the forefront in leadership.

caught between a whore &

The show’s concept of living art as opposed to the usual paintings hung on the wall, complimented “In the Red,” (the first men’s performance exhibit at Regeneracion)–which was the idea of Elizabeth Delgadillo Merfeld.  Elizabeth also created the publicity image from a backdrop Patricia Valencia and Victoria Delgadillo painted on red cloth, using a photo projected image of a 1910 Zapatista soldada.  Aida Salazar was the brilliant show organizer/producer.  As an community organizer, Victoria Delgadillo established written and verbal communication updates with the participating artists, helping them to problem solve administrative matters, as well as persuaded everyone to include men in the show. Sometimes the whole family needs to come together, just as we women had helped with In the Red. There was a tremendous amount of work to put this show together, using our only resource: a network of friends.

Later, Claudia Mercado and Felicia Montes, the founders of Mujeres de Maiz noted that “Caught Between a Whore and an Angel,” inspired the inception of Las Mujeres de Maiz.  Its interesting to see how art can grow and inspire great things.  Regeneracion had many participants and many stories of art, music, words and resistance. This is just one of them.

“The body of a woman is also a battleground ” -Cecilia Rodriquez, EZLN (1995)

 

Las Mujeres de Chiapas marchan

(below) The Mexican Spitfires (Elizabeth Delgadillo Merfeld, Patricia Valencia & Victoria Delgadillo) created “La Moda” as their offering for the Caught Between a Whore and an Angel exhibit. It stars Marco Trejo aka DJ Yaqui (†), Patricia Valencia and Elizabeth Delgadillo Merfeld. Victoria Delgadillo filmed in the Direct Cinema genre style which took 1 hour. The script was spontaneously decided by the group during costume changes. After filming, it took Victoria 3 hours to create the synchronized sound track using her personal record collection and transcribing them onto a cassette tape. This film was created with a hand held video recorder shot in sequence (no edits) and a separate cassette tape for the sound. Artists Alma Lopez transferred the Video into a digitized MP4, later Martin Sorrondeguy & Rigo Maldonado added the cassette soundtrack to the digitized film.

View La Moda

Read more about La Moda

by victoriadelgadillo

Introspection on Being Chicana

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After having attempted every avenue available in the United States to find success, the racism that prevails appeared at the end of each path for my family, leaving them idealizing that a university education would be the key to gaining access to that promised life of equality and democracy. Never having experienced the landscape of the institutions, they encouraged it as a goal for me.

Political awareness heightened for me at the university. I sought to identify with who I was, instead of trying to hide my origins, as many educated Mexican-Americans had done through marriages with European descendants. I embraced the new culture identified from a Mexican experience in the United States, called Chicana.

Being Chicana begins for each woman from various life epiphanies, however the common bind is social alienation, either due to language, origin, color, sex, opportunities and finally through an awareness of a system of exclusivity that is unobtainable. Having attended only public schools in an urban setting, I did not experience racism until I attended the university. It was in the English Literature Department when my professor, treated and graded me as if my presence in his class was an affront to the English language. The youth of my era and background had to possess a great inner strength to climb over obstacles in life.

I had been approached to participate in the white feminist movement of the late 1960s and 1970s–including the new women art movements in California, but I have always found the counter-masculine agenda ineffective to my ideal of one-humanity. Ultimately feminism is about the freedom to act and think in various personal expressions: denying the male role in humankind or clinging to it, with the conclusive goal of being able to enjoy all the freedoms that others in society enjoy. This is not to say that there is no value in knowing oneself deeply through like-minded groups, but it is only one aspect of defining oneself in the world. How I arrived to my place in this society and how I would externalize my manifestation, is my own personal journey of discovery.

Once I graduated from the University of California, San Diego, I went on a quest for experience. My cautiousness to proclaim that I was an artist was a result of wanting to find a higher purpose for creating, not just a means of livelihood, fame or elitism. While the white Women’s Art movement stimulated civil right actions by challenging the art institutions in California and internationally, I sought others who knew my legacy of Mexican art, music, literature and their cultural institutions.

by victoriadelgadillo

Another Kind of Woman

En Mictlan_Delgadillo1

I had been approached to participate in the white feminists movement of the late 1960s and 1970s–including the new women art movements in California, but I have always found the counter-masculine agenda ineffective to my ideal of one-humanity. Ultimately feminism is about the freedom to act and think in various personal expressions: denying the male role in humankind or clinging to it, with the conclusive goal of being able to enjoy all the freedoms that others in society enjoy. This is not to say that there is no value in knowing oneself deeply through like-minded groups, but it is only one aspect of defining oneself in the world. How I arrived to my place in this society and how I would externalize my manifestation, is my own personal journey of discovery.

Being Chicana begins for each woman from various life epiphanies, however the common bind is social alienation, either due to language, origin, color, sex, opportunities and finally through an awareness of a system of exclusivity that is unobtainable. Having attended only public schools in an urban setting where the majority of students were black, I did not experience racism until I attended the university. It was my English Literature professor that used all his power to humiliate and diminish me.

 

by victoriadelgadillo

2014!

Heart in Hand

 

2014 has already started off with a bang.  I have been extremely busy (as usual) with the woes of 2013 in a far distance.  Money is coming in for some major projects to be completed.

Strange how getting past worries and believing in a perfect universe–summons the resolution.  I am not lucky, I just have faith in the world and my journey.  Getting caught up in mundane life problems, can become a barrier towards tomorrow.  I see those stumbling blocks in others, as they cannot forgive, forget, release, move-on.

In the past few years and especially the last few months, I see that all matters have a logical resolution.  It does not matter what the problem is, with patient research, networking and dialogue–the answers are there–somewhere close.

Many artists fall by the wayside because they give up on themselves and their destiny.  They do not believe that it is their fate to create art.  There is a silly notion from books and movies that informs us as to what an artist life should be: being born with a “gift” to create art, going to art school, feeling tortured, getting discovered, making lots of money.

In truth, being an artist is not wanting to do any other thing, and not knowing what else to do.  You get lost in creating the work,  doing the research, not thinking of much more.

 

by victoriadelgadillo

Institut des Amériques

Titel

These past weeks, I have been too busy to blog. Someone noted last night, that I am like everyone in LA keeping extremely busy to feel that I am having a full-life. Work, a flu and more work are my only excuses. Financial woes too and cramming everything into some time allotment.

I submitted an application for a grant, and tried to file more, but on the other applications I was either too late or too early. It seemed like destiny was saying “Move on to the next thing, Mujer.” It is said that there is some easy flow, when things are meant to be. I am still trying to experience or get-into-the-groove of what that might feel like. My life is struggle, struggle and then some more of the same.

Latched onto someone’s star, I have been invited to present my art work at a conference in France this December. Instituts des Amériques/Women in the Americas conference in partnership with, the Centre for Mexican and Central America Studies (CEMCA) in its 11th edition of organizing this conference. This time taking place in Marseille, France. The congress will analyze the continuities and changes in roles, identities and representations of women in the Americas. It will be held in English, French and Spanish and will lead to several international publications.

Publication! Yes, I am writing like crazy, trying to document what my art is about in 6000 words, English and Spanish. My mind wanders with all the ideas that I have and sometimes contradicting my panel: “Feminist Interventions: Art and Community Building in a Transnational Era.” Writing about what one does, when one likes to be behind the scenes is a mega challenge, coupled with getting the finances together to travel and find accommodations–a race that is neck and neck. Wish I had people, like other artists do, but I am sure I would reject that eventually. I love my privacy.

It occurs to me that maybe I have let-go as an artist, and it’s only in my mind that I think I am such a controller (even when behind the scenes). I am going to ponder that more. My mind is all over the place these days. Anyway this is the place “Axe 8 Arts.” I am getting ready to make my European debut. “When I am aligned with my path, the universe opens doors in front of me.”

by victoriadelgadillo

Textile Stories in Print

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Tradition by Rocky Ormsby-Olivares

I curated a print series, Communication Threads & Entwined Recollections, that will be unveiled on Sunday, June 30th at the studios of Self Help Graphics & Art an internationally prominent producer of fine-art, silk screen prints.

The series is based on a concept of creating personal stories about textiles from artists who use fiber in their own disciplines. It was at once an appealing idea to me as the curator and a challenging one for the artists to create the flavor of fiber art in 2 dimensions. Drawing from a grand textile history of basket weaving to catalytic cloth with built-in computer chips, the artists thoughtfully embraced the challenge of creating their own unique perspectives on a 22X30 inch print.

This print suite of 10 artists is comprised of 2 knit bombers, 2 filmmakers, 1 graphic designer, 1 performance artist, 1 costume designer, 1 fiber artist, 1 vintage cloth re-purpose artist and 1 mixed media installation artist. This  complete suite of prints will be added to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA) print collection in 2013.

Hop on the Goldline metro, exit at the Pico-Aliso station (1 stop after Little Tokyo)—Self Help Graphics & Art is right in front of this stop. The open studio Print Fair is from 12pm to 5pm. View these prints, meet the artists, see other prints in this astounding studio, attend a panel discussion at 2pm on the series and learn about the print process through demonstrations.

by victoriadelgadillo

Sub/Culture

Still from “LA Woman” 2011

“Sub/Culture are video works exploring the heterogeneity of Los Angeles and the complex mix of personal, social, historical, and geographic variables that both divide and connect us. To be an Angelino is to be a part of one or more subcultures, which alternately blend and clash in compelling ways demonstrated by the communities and individuals depicted in these works.” – Freewaves

Freewaves is a library of art films, whose mission is also to promote youth filmmaking. I was notified today that my film “LA Woman” will be screened on April 19, 2013 at Occidental College in Eagle Rock, California, along with special student work that was created for the theme of Sub/Culture.

I created “LA Woman” in 2011 as an homage to the billboards, signs and murals seen throughout the city which feature various ideals of what a Los Angeles woman is.  I had pondered for many months, how I would capture the compelling images I saw while driving everyday.

Above in the photo still of my film, I captured a young woman walking by a mural of a brown girl in a brown beret. Obviously this image was created to encourage brown-female pride.  In a saint-like exclamation, the muralist painted roses by the girl’s head. I love when the world provides inspiration and final touches.

I enjoy the fact that my art is paired with the works of new young filmmakers. The thought that my ideas and artistic perspective is something young people can relate to, is an amazing reward in itself.

by victoriadelgadillo

Bad Girls Leave Home

Heartfelt & Homespun, 2004, Mixed Media

Heartfelt & Homespun, 2004, Mixed Media

There is an association called Mujeres Activas en Letras y Cambios Sociales (Women who are Active in Academia and Social Change) established in 1982, at UC Davis, with the purpose of documenting the contributions of Chicanas and sharing it with other feminists. MALCS sponsors an institute on themes related to academic pursuits and world change. This year the conference takes place in July at The Ohio State University, with the theme this year of Movements, Migrations, Pilgrimages and Belongings.

Our panel discussion: Bad Girls Leave Home: Subverting the Good Girl Aesthetic in Prose, Performance and Art Activism was selected as one of the presenters for the institute! Usually, I am really lame at writing proposals and getting them accepted. I cringe when I press send on these things. That is why I love the collective–there’s power in a group of heads. Even though my words were the opening for our proposal, it goes down better sent and edited by other hands.

The group consists of Maya Chinchilla, Reina Prado, Vickie Vertiz and me. For this panel presentation I am creating a Power Point. I have been attending the University of YouTube recently, getting some techniques and tips on making my presentation interesting.

Although I have presented many times on Art Activism, each version is different. I am still active and evolving in this genre. As a presenter one must be informative and brief. That is difficult, because once a devotee begins speaking about a personal passion, they become transfixed. My greatest fear is awaking from my talk and seeing that the audience is restless and bored.

by victoriadelgadillo

My Film Making Inspiration

What inspires my art, are those around me. If you look at enough of my work, you will start to realize that many of the models I use are people that I know, mostly friends.  I suppose all artists draw from their surroundings.

Especially, when I look at my body of film work, I realized that I am not creating a film, but more of a moving photograph of my subject.  I don’t try to write a script or make my stars do anything that is foreign to them. I pick my subjects, because I have noticed them doing a certain activity that I find intriguing and then try to capture that same action or gesture on film. My actors are not playing a role, they are being themselves–or a portion of themselves. They are playful, absurd, emotional or sexual—all the emotions that pepper my art.

I draw from the American film industry way of creating films, where ‘film star’ personalities are always the same character in any film in which they appear.  There are no surprises when you go see a favorite American film star. You want to be transported by their usual magnetic and truthful screen persona–which is always the same. Great acting is more of an artistic expression–where the actor convinces you that they are someone else. I believe that the ‘film star’ is a more truthful human portrayal than an actor.  No matter how excellent an actor is, they are still acting.

That is why I look to my friends as a source of inspiration and translate that inspiration into art.  There are times when I laugh loudly and inappropriately, because I notice one of my friends in one of ‘their gesture’ modes and I am delighted. I am always conscious of the roles we all play in the stage of real life and often step outside of life-dramas as a viewer, while they are occurring.

I have been asked, “How did you accomplish that?” or “How did you make that person do that?” I explain that the person is being themselves or the “self” that I bring out in them.  I piece together a loose and changeable story line, review it with my stars, create a supportive setting, leave the dialogue up to the stars or direct them to say something while I am filming.

I usually do all my own film shooting and sometimes edit while I am filming, because something occurs to me in the moment or because some perfect lighting or. background change happened. I use inexpensive film equipment to bring an element of ‘snap-shot’ culture to my work. I think super slick color and lighting would throw me off or I’d try figuring out how to make it look less Hollywood.

by victoriadelgadillo

LA Noir

In 2002 I was part of a Maestras (Female Print Master) Atelier called “Upraise of the Urban Goddess”, curated by Diane Gamboa. These series of women master-printers (founded in 1983) includes many illustrious artists, themes and prints. One day there will be an exhibit of these prints, maybe at LACMA (the Los Angeles County Museum of Art), because they have suites of every print in this series in their archive.

For “Upraise of the Urban Goddess”, Diane gave us readings from Anais Nin, Diane Arbus, a photo essay from French Vogue called Santa Maria de los Chicanos by Peter Sellars , an essay on Great Goddesses (Chamunda, Kali, Coatlicue, Laussel, Wilendorf),  an article on an 80 year-old woman coping with mental illness in the Los Angeles County jail, the Autobiography of Bette Davis, Home Remedies from Mexico, excerpts from Carlos Fuentes book The Goddess who hunts alone and “A Novice Woman’s Quick Reference Guide to Erotically Dominating a Submissive Man” for our inspiration.

Full View

Full Print View

My print Knowingly Walking Through the Imaginary River Towards Divine Destiny, is about self guidance with help from ritual and intuition–as one travels in a world that is not always what it appears to be.

“Upraise of the Urban Goddess is an open ended concept that positions women in the limelight.  This project is an observance on misunderstood sex in a time of great change . ”  – Diane Gamboa, Curator

“Delgadillo discusses in her print an experience of female intuitiveness and a universality of spirituality, ultimately a meditation for healing.  The central image strikingly reveals the flesh-ness of the woman.  She is composed of colors that resemble the palettes of biological, anatomical drawings.  These colors also draw the eye over the entirety of the body, introducing the details of her face and neck, while slowly down the gaze at her torso and legs, as well as her arms which extend outwards in a gesture of embrace and balance. The candle and the Tarot card in the woman’s hands are gently wielded as offerings to the viewer, yet also to the city in the background. Delgadillo’s image is very much about the physical locale of the city.  As LA moor where the city figures prominently as a character in the narrative, Delgadillo introduces cityscape as an element of the goddess. Yet, over the other shoulder of the woman, we glimpse a row of five hearts on the horizon.  These hearts seem to address the notion of growth and hope for the city and inhabitants, much unlike a noir metropolis.  The hearts and the city are un-trusive to the central image, but are powerful enough details to complete the characteristics of the goddess image and remind the viewer of the urban situation of contemporary spirituality.

Crowned by the sun, or moon, the woman looms forward.  She is grounded in the element of water, energizing her with strength and the curative possibilities of woman and water. The green haze of the sky and pink clouds offer a dreamscape setting, but also call to mind the element of air and smog of LA skies.  The speckled mid-layer of the print creates energy and movement, perhaps of the city and perhaps also of the figure herself.  It is this energy and movement that the feminine force in Delgadillo’s print calls forth.  Speaking to the universality, both of body and of time, the woman’s image conjures notions of the ever present-ness of the female as a source of wisdom and intuition.

The river becomes a figure central to our intuitions and our experiences of the metropolis.  The Los Angeles River is legendary for trickling through the concrete basins along the freeways and through neighborhoods.  Yet, it remains a central figure of imaginings because it is our aqua vitae.  Although it currents diminish to threads, they are threads of history, and threads reminding us of the naturalness of life that continues.  Moreover, the woman walks through this river as a necessary aspect of her being and presence, she has perhaps become the currents of the river, a river that continues through her.” – Martina Melendez, Documentarian

by victoriadelgadillo

Rebelde!

Mixed Media

Mixed Media

My first act of rebellion (according to my parents) was my insistence that my clothes and shoes had to match. I was 4 years old and they were perplexed by my meltdown caused by not being dressed in the fashion I liked. From the closet they pulled out dresses, shoes, socks, sweaters, skirts as I yelled an angry tearful “NO!” or calmer happier “ok” –when the right item was found.  They smiled and he said, “Who taught her about matching?”–she answered, “I don’t know.”

I think my first act of rebellion, was in 2nd grade. Over the summer I befriended a wispy, pale Spanish-American girl named Louise. She was the youngest child of oldish parents and the first USA born in her family. Laughing seemed to make her whole body ache. On the first day of school the kids teased her for carrying a boys’ themed cowboy lunch box. Her short cropped curly red hair, frailness and paper skin made her stand out enough as it was. Quietly she retreated inward, obviously affected by the meanness. The injustice of her becoming a social outcast, because of her parents’ cluelessness, upset me.

After school, my family went shopping, as was our custom. There, I saw the exact same lunch box. Since I needed a new one, I chose the “Gun Smoke” cowboys on horses in brown-orange and blue tones too. At the check-out line there was no judgement on my choice. The next day when Louise and I walked to school and ate lunch together (with our identical, twin, cowboy lunch boxes) the other kids looked at us quizzically saying nothing. We happily ate our sandwiches in the patio and drank our juice from the  thermoses with the guns-drawn theme. Being a rebel felt pretty good.

by victoriadelgadillo

When Art Makes You Go Mad

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A few days ago I was reading a blog on how to approach Los Angeles, from a writer that no longer lives here. The writer warned about not looking at Los Angeles like a ‘real’ city, because it is many cities in one; to be open to ‘exploring’; and not to be put-off by the populace constantly networking. He wrote many stereotypes, mostly on his experiences in Hollywood and West Los Angeles–including that one must never to go to downtown LA, its a total wasteland. The blog was followed by one annoying chorus of comments after another–personal stories of evil, pretentious, shallow, over crowded, uncultured, cliquish Los Angeles. There were a few polite notes too, letting the writer know about their small successes in LA, including that downtown had been renovated–fyi.

I thought I would write something clever to squash this love-to-hate fest, but decided to mull it around in my head instead. These sort of blogs and poison penned articles about LA can be found everywhere on-line, some are even horribly racist. I pondered what the real underlying problem was.

Months ago an artist I know went mad, tearing up his artwork, shouting from his studio that he was a failure. He had been in LA for about a year. Obviously, his stay didn’t pan out the way he planned it. After, his family came from Georgia to collect him. This was not my first experience with the thin line between art, madness, alcoholism and drug addiction. I have heard of it happening many times since I have lived in LA. I almost had a breakdown once myself, because I could not comply with all the art demands during an intense moment in my life. Thank goodness for supportive friends who have seen it all and give the sincerest advice.

Many of us in Los Angeles are transplants. We come for the opportunities. I moved to Los Angeles with three friends: an actor, a hair dresser and a musician. Each of us with an artistic purpose and reason to make the big move.  After a few years they each moved back to San Diego, because LA was “too difficult,” “a town without pity,” “overwhelming,” and “too competitive.” Being in my 20s, I was perplexed by their responses to LA, because I found every part of this city exciting, nicely paced, interesting, accessible and stimulating.

I admit that I did not arrive as a big frog from a little pond—coming here to prove that I could capture this city too. I came to learn, to join collectives, to work hard, to be awed and to network with the best of them–and that’s what I’ve done.

Its not about the public transportation, the fake people, not having everything you need within a mile radius, unrequited love, the expensiveness, the shit jobs, not being recognized as amazing, not being rich enough or dressing right—all those imagined reasons Los Angeles fails in many outsider’s eyes.

Its about some Hollywood fairy tale mental expectations, that wind up being unfulfillable. When you go someplace and presume that it should be just like ‘home’ and complain when it is not—who’s to blame for that? That’s what is defined as the arrogant Ugly American syndrome.

Those who belittle Los Angeles usually do not even know this city well enough to have seen or discovered all its richnesses. We true Angelenos love those official written dismissals of this city. Like a venomous spray of Black Flag, it keeps people away and shows the writer/s waving their white flag as they retreat back to their little town/s. Thanks–it means more for us! There is no need to hurt yourself or someone else by going mad, we actually feel bad when that happens. We unwind and meditate during the bumper to bumper ride home each day and feel extremely blessed to enjoy the cruise in LA.

by victoriadelgadillo

Silenced

I created this watercolor painting in 1998. I painted it after my bout with a fibroid tumor that made me menstruate 3 out of 4 weeks each month for a few years. I realize this is a very personal topic and one that is not meant for social conversation. However, in art everything goes, whether you purposefully want it to be revealed or if it appears in your work on a subconscious level.

Once one experiences this tumor and goes through the process–which can be a grave matter or (in my case) a routine operation in our times of modern western science–many friends come forward revealing that they also had one. For most women this tumor represents the inability to procreate. Such was the case when I was recuperating in my hospital bed. Nurses and staff members came to give me condolences and to testify about “their operation,” emphasizing that it should not be considered the end of womanhood. Oddly, my artist friends thought as I did, that it was a relief and a somewhat liberating shortcut to the usual body changes.

Before getting the operation, I tried to deal with it holistically through Chinese medicine. For more than a year, I received acupuncture treatments and would feel better, but the tumor was too pronounced.

In spite of not being a great believer in drugs and extreme medical treatments, I do have faith in a combination of nutritional therapy, ancient medicines and modern science. In our lifetime of urban stress, pollution, bioengineered foods and chemical fallouts, healthy alternatives must be actively sought out.

I created this painting with the help of my acupuncturist Arno Yap. Although a professional can see that the needles are placed artistically rather than accurately, it is a blissful painting of a natural balance of the physical body. This painting has been in storage since 1998, because although to me it is a depiction of triumph, it has been rejected by others. I think because it may represent something else to the viewer, something that was not my intent and that I have no control over. I am use to being silenced, finding out (upon arriving to a reception) that, “there just wasn’t enough room” for my art in an exhibit. I am very familiar with the euphemism.

 

 

by victoriadelgadillo

Take-out Poetry

When the laundromat becomes a stage

There is a series of spontaneous poetry readings happening on the northeast side of LA.  Last night I went to my second installment at a laundromat–it was called Dirty Laundry.  The first reading I went to (this summer) was at a taco shop with The Taco Shop Poets coming in from their various places in California to read and have tacos.  None of the poets last night washed dirty laundry.

Both times I attended, I knew I was going to hear poetry, both times I was surprised by the venue.  In fact, each time I could not figure out the address as I circled the block various times, because I was looking for an art space, not a mom-and-pop business.  After seeing so much art, good and bad, surprises are a treat.

These take-out poetry readings are a gift of Kathy Gallegos, Director of Avenue 50 Gallery and Studios in Highland Park.  Her smile and genteelness welcomes you when she hands you a bookmark printed with the evening’s poetry selections on it.  Great keepsake.

Impromptu poetry reading at the laundromat

As a curator, I am always concerned with the affect of art on an audience.  At the laundromat, like the taco shop, patrons are there to take care of mundane duties, take a break, relax.  As one of the poets said last night, the laundromat is a sacred space, an escape from matters happening at home and a place to think quietly with the impartial hum of machines in the background. I wonder if these poetry invasions cut into the harmony of the environment or if they shake it to a higher level?

Seeing the children scurry under the poets from one side of the room to the other, the loud music score of the Pac-man game start up in a back corner, tipsy men chatting loudly about some bronca, the attendant assisting customers, the poets not skipping a beat–somehow it all worked together.

I looked away from the poets to my right and noticed two elementary school siblings sitting on the bench next to me, quietly listening to words above their age levels.  I smiled remembering my first desvelada when I accompanied my dad to Corona, California to give our elderly tia a surprise mañanitas serenade on her milestone birthday.  I remembered her joy beyond smiles when she came to open her front door in pajamas. Growing up I loved hearing my father play his guitar and my mother sing, it was the home training I received that made me an artist.  I think now, that I would have loved to have heard poetry too, even if I did not understand or expect it.

by victoriadelgadillo

Art Process

September 25, 2012

Here’s how my print process begins. Step 1 -take a picture of what I want to draw.

Bolsa de Mercado

Step 2,  I translate the photo into black & white (using a basic photo editing on computer)—cropping the view to make it interesting.  My friend Leslie Gutierrez took these pictures below for me. She did it with a Nikon, indoors, overhead lighting, no flash.  It’s hard to shoot plastic (as seen in the color version above)–it can have too much shine and blur the details.

Option 1

In Option 1, there is a hint of the bag. In Option 2, you can see the complete bag.

Option 2

Now I can see the vertical and horizontal lines better in the grey-tone version, and can plot out the separations on acetate sheets. I am doing the color separations old school, hand painting the acetates with ink. These days there is a temptation to create the separations on computer. Sure it’s faster, but then the finished print becomes too mechanical, too slick and loses the artist’s personal touch.

I am thinking of color. Not sure if I will use the original bag colors of red, white and green. I like blues and oranges more. We’ll see. Choices, choices and problem solving–that is art.

November 15. Leslie is so clever, I did not have to take another photo, this is actually the red bag version. Les suggested that I photoshop it to change the color and voila I got this look. Love it!  So above is the color scheme I am going for in my print and the final cropping too. I think you can tell what it is, but it is not so obviously figurative–like when you see the whole bag.  I’m going to start my separations next week.

November 17. Met with the Master Printer and talked MORE about color.  I know color only excites a few of us– it’s an art thing. He gave me a sheet of rubylith to cut my background layer. The background (in orange) will be the first pass of color. He suggested that the colors should be printed in this order:  yellow, blue and then the magenta all in transparent inks so that when two colors merge, they will create a third color.  I love transparent paint! Nice to work with someone that does this everyday. Printing in layers is tricky.

Below I adhere the registration targets to the my transparency sheets. The registrations are used to help align each layer.

November 20.  Thanksgiving slowed down my process. The studio was closed for 4 days!  Right before they closed for the holiday, the studio manager said my blown-up poster model was too pixelated.  He said it would be hard to see the lines well enough on the light table to transfer the design onto the separations. Sighhh. It took me forever to get the bad poster versions done too. Staples could not get them right.  It took them a whole day to print it close enough to the size I needed. A waste of $10 and 4 bad posters. Urgh.

November 27. After a nice Thanksgiving weekend with family and friends—I got back to my image. I was frustrated about it from Saturday to this morning (3 days!) Lots of thinking about my plan of attack. I am not sure if this works for everyone, but when I sleep on matters the very next day I have figured out a plan. I woke up at 4:30am this morning and logically figured out what I needed to do. I have always believed that thinking logically can resolve anything in life, because in the world nothing is 100% one way or another.  I am sure it was something I did, not Staples. After searching for the right terminology, I knew how to ask for what I needed help with. I watched a YouTube videos on the subject and got some good tutoring.  I needed to raise the resolution, lock it in and resize the image to what poster dimensions I wanted.  Que pendeja! So simple. The answers are out there! Actually I do not work on graphics that much, I don’t know what buttons to push. Visual tutorials are my best friends. Finally I got my print model sized into a 30 X 22 poster and printed it at Office Depot. Cost $14. Tax deduction for sure. To make it fit into the correct proportions, I had to change the image a bit from Option 1. Ah ha–but now that task is done and I am REALLY ready to hit the light table and create my hand made transparencies. Exciting!

This is my final design model for my print.

December 5. I have put in at least 6 hours on hand inking my separation for magenta and I am not even done (see what I mean in my image below). Everything that will have magenta in it for my print (including orange and purple) require ink blocking.  Below, my photocopied image has a sheet of acetate over it and I am blocking out the magenta areas with my rapidograph pen. I use a small color image for reference, as I count the lines over and over to be sure I am blocking the right areas. I’ve been going into the studio at 6am in the morning, because I am fresher at that time. I rock the jazz station alone and get into an inking meditation. I guess I could have made it as a comic book inker. In truth, I could have drawn the original image myself, it is a simple rectangle. But I wanted it to have the accuracy of realistic woven fabric and accomplishing that is tedious. Inking all that woven fabric was tedious enough. Usually hand drawn silk screen images are less complicated and “complicated” is my middle name–sometimes.

Me, hand inking

December 14. My artist in residency begins! I have been working on my separations non-stop for over a week now.  I had 3 separations completed–but there are always issues to resolve.  Thinking in print is difficult.  When you are inking the separations, what you ink will be the color, not the clear spaces. Darn! Of course, my first separation was wrong! I did it backwards.  I had to scramble to get my first separation ready on the first day. We could lose a day of printing! The color must be laid down in order. The good thing was that we gained a separation for the color blue, which I had not done yet. Yes, the blocked separation I did for the first day was what I needed for the blue color, with a few tweaks–whew. Glad nothing was wasted.

The master printer burnt the screen with a system very much like photo developing. Since it is done in the dark, I could not take a picture. A green photo sensitive liquid is coated on the silk screen, the ink separation is place below the screen on a transparent glass table.  From beneath, a photographer’s light is lit for a designated amount of time–thereby the separation is transferred onto the screen.

Power washing the burnt screen

Power washing the burnt screen

Above the screen is then power washed to remove the areas that were ink blocked. Exposed are the areas where the ink will be pushed through on the paper with a squeegee. The white areas on the screen are open, the green areas are blocked. Note that the image is upside down. This run will be the first color–a peach shade for the background.

Below, the master printer is blocking any areas that may have been exposed in the wash, to make sure there are no pin holes.

Blocking any pin holes

Blocking any pin holes

Then onto the printing. . . . .

Dec 15 Inking the screen

Dec 15 Inking the screen

Dec 15 First print

Dec 15 First print

Dec 15 Pulling out first print

Dec 15 Pulling out first print

Dec 15 First color "peach"

Dec 15 First color “peach”

Dec 15 Seventy more to go

Dec 15 Seventy more to go

Dec 18 (after the weekend) the 2nd color is "blue"

Dec 18 (after the weekend) The 2nd color is “blue”

Dec 19 Third color is "yellow"

Dec 19 Third color is “yellow”

Dec 20 The 4th color is added "magenta"

Dec 20 The 4th color is added “magenta”

Dec 21 Last color is "black", but it is too muddy. Bag looks dirty and dull. Yuk!

Dec 21 Last color is “black”, but it is too muddy. Bag looks dirty and dull. Yuk!

Dark blue final color. Love it!

Dec 22 Dark blue is REALLY the final color I wanted. Love it!

December 22. Voila! My print is done and just like I wanted. It was loads of work, but so worth it. Could I improve it? Of course, each new subject is an opportunity to learn and each new attempt is an opportunity to  translate your image into something else. I don’t feel my print is an actual copy of the model, it has my artistic flavor through my hands-on drawing/inking, color choices and the elimination of factory woven details.

After the prints are created, the separations and bad prints are destroyed by the studio. Yes! It keeps dumpster divers and thieves from copying and selling the prints. This is true.

My print is a tribute to the working class people that use these recycling bags for everything from grocery shopping to laundry washing. When my friend Becky Cortez saw it –she said “This image reminds me of you!”  Perfect. These types of bags are a reoccurring theme in my art and even though it is a common still life, it is an overlooked powerful icon of our times.

by victoriadelgadillo

The Zen of Curating

 

Curating an art exhibit is exciting and some days, stressful.  Merging many artists into one anything is a feat.  You’ve heard of the difficult tortured artist? Well think of 50 to 100 artists, each one with their personal needs, schedules, personalities.  Sometimes the best artists have the biggest diva moments.  Yes, even some of your most beloved, down-to-earth, hommie, street artists, have their ego-melt-downs.

Meanwhile, as the curator, I need to maintain a calm poker face which evokes “Everything is fine.  I know what I am doing.  We are perfectly on schedule. Don’t worry, I got this”, to everyone involved. The curator must stay calm.  I’ve even remained calm when featured artists have shown up half-hour before an opening with wet paintings or hours late  for their presentations.  Stressed gallery staff/owners have said to me, “Call your boy. Where is the artist? What should we do/say to the guests? There’s no art on the walls!” By then, there is nothing that can be done but reorganize the schedule, calm the guests and gallery people with optimistic chatter and more calmness.  The later it gets before the artist arrives, the harder the gallery people look at me, like I am a poor judge of artists.

At a certain point, all my meditation and Zen training informs me that once an idea has been articulated—it has its own life in the universe. It is no longer mine. Like any life-form, one can only tend and facilitate an idea as best one can—and without any known formula, rhyme or reason, an idea (exhibit) is going to be what it is going to be.  Of course, one could try and dictate what every little detail will be and when it is not how one imagined, have a nervous break-down—but in Zen, you let go of control. Learning to let go, has amazing rewards and most times matters turn out better than you had thought.  Note that there is a difference between nurture and control.

A few months ago, I attended a lecture curated by Bill Kelly, Jr. who is the 2012-13 Curator in Residence at 18th Street Art Complex in Santa Monica.   I was so lucky to have a moment alone with him before the lecture room filled up.  I asked him if he ever felt like the referee between exhibit spaces and the artists.  He quickly said, “No”, adding that I probably encourage that familiarity with both entities.

This has made me think carefully about my authority rating as a curator.  In the end, I am okay with relinquishing some of my direction-rights in anything I do for the chance of learning new ways and being surprised by them.

by victoriadelgadillo

Peel Here Snapshot

(Above) Peel Here 5, a photo from The Dirt Floor Magazine of Victoria Delgadillo’s sticker.

The Dirt Floor was a leading contemporary and underground arts and culture magazine dedicated to surfacing the best of street, underground art, and pop culture in its many forms. Now its a side note here  Sticky Rick curated the Peel Here Adhesive Art exhibit and created Victoria’s sticker from the silk screen print below.

“Vickie (Victoria Delgadillo) always loves a party where the talking is good ’cause the voices  get under her skin just like the funk in the music that makes her body move and her hands follow in a sweet sway in front of her, hands that find their way across a canvas sometimes or destiny’s cards, so they’d tell her where she’s at, though she’s never been no place too long, drifting through age and mind, growing a buddhist’s bud in a shui’ed out potted garden just to see where it takes her, maybe to a psychic surgeon somewhere in San Diego or a third eye convention in space”

..from “snapshots” a series of shorts of my friends by Aida Salazar

by victoriadelgadillo

Asi Es El Mundo . . . .

Eye Speak Tapestry Piece at LAX

Eye Speak Tapestry Piece at LAX

A few weeks after September 11. 2001, I took part in a Los Angeles project called Eye-Speak curated by Joseph Beckles & Jane Castillo.  I was given a 3 X 5 foot area to paint within a 2 week period.  There were 2 tapestries that were 150 feet each, with 115 artists painting side by side.

Bewildered by the events of those days, many of us created artwork that related to the feelings of loss, confusion and impeding war. The painting I did was of a woman, like myself feeling very vulnerable, yet holding her heart together during a crisis.

On January 23, 2004 the tapestry was unveiled in a plexiglass display case lining a ramp for arriving passengers out of the Tom Bradley International Terminal. The second 150-foot scroll was displayed near the terminal’s baggage claim area.  Passengers and some city employees who were offended by the images in my piece demanded that the city remove both scrolls.  The airport officials turned the lights off in the display case to keep it from being seen.

Under pressure from airport officials, the Eye-Speak curators agreed to take down the work.  After receiving inquiries from The Los Angeles Times, airport officials reversed their order to remove the tapestry and decided it could remain through its originally scheduled dates. Officials turned on the lights in the display case again!

Museum Frictions: Public Cultures/Global Transformations (published in 2006) a collection of essays addressing the relationship between museums and globalization, note that the attempted censorship of my painting at LAX was part of the George W. Bush political climate in 2004 which affected many exhibitions and artists.  Today LAX has two screening barriers artists must pass to be exhibited in their community spaces.